Today is the last day, so the purpose of this is nil. I’ll write to inform. Inform the aliens, the mass of energy, or the time-jumping mysterious goop that will inevitably survive this and come out able to read and comprehend english. I have to assume this will happen; because to imagine an actual end, or a void, is outside of my purview.
With all things ending in only a matter of hours, I feel ripped off. I feel like I was promised more than this. I don’t believe in destiny, fate or a god, so really I know that I wasn’t promised anything. I still feel like I deserved more than this. Again, since I didn’t earn my existence, I know I didn’t deserve anything. When I reconsider carefully, the universe was ripped off. I was let loose on it, it didn’t consent to my existence. Afterward, I ran around wherever I pleased and sucked pleasure out of it like a leech sucks blood.
Not that I feel guilty; far from it. I feel angry. Angry that I didn’t absorb more happiness and sheer pleasure before. Pragmatically speaking, I should be outside breaking things and making love. Impending doom has a way of mixing things up, so I’m writing instead. Now, with all things ending in only a matter of hours, I feel gratitude. I didn’t earn or deserve my life, so by getting anything at all, I got more than I never asked for.
I wish I could tell that through an intercom to the whole world. In particular the ones yelling at the sky to reconsider, and the one’s in total denial of the end. Clearly, I can’t. If I wrote this 10 years ago, maybe it would have made all of the conscious life on this planet that can understand complicated language called humanity(and possibly dolphins, but we don't know yet, because as John Lilly could tell you ketamine is a hell of a drug) nice and relaxed at this abrupt end. It’s too late. And as Bukowski wrote- there’s nothing worse than too late.
I can’t stay angry at the universe for ending any more than I can stay angry at a person for their suicide. Actually, because the universe is incapable of decision, I can’t stay angry at it any more than I can stay angry at a tree for getting chopped down. Actually, because no one is responsible for this turn of events(or rather the ceasing of the turning of events), I can’t stay angry at it any more than I can stay angry at a person for getting killed by lightning. So instead of anger I feel a little bit of sympathy for it, and a lot more tranquility. Tranquility that, like all things I’ve felt past and present, I don’t deserve.
See you later suckers! I’m gonna dissapear! I love you, and fuck you all!
AHHHHHHHH! I WANT TO LIVE! I DON’T WANT TO DIE! SAVE ME! MY ADDRESS IS 1(8 FRANKLIN STREET, MIDDLE RIVER MARYLAND UNITED STATES NORTH AMERICA. I AM A CARBON BASED LIFEFFORM AND I BREATH AIR. AIR IS PART OXYGEN AND I CANT REMEMBER THE OTHER THING. COME BACK AND GET ME PLEASE! I’D DO THE SAME FOR YOU! IT”S THHe GOLDEN RULE! I’LL BE YOU”RE SLAVE! ANYTHING! THANKS, mY NAME ISCOBE AND MY CELL IS 443 %22 095777.